Up To Snuff

by Ivan St John

Up To Snuff cover art
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1.
04:25
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2.
02:57
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3.
04:06
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4.
03:22
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5.
03:51
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6.
04:11
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7.
04:41
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8.
02:10
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9.
04:24
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10.
02:59
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credits

released 12 November 2010

tags

tags: alternative pop Dublin

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Track Name: There You Stand
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
You hate to wish her well
As she's walking out the door.
Bags are packed they're on the floor
She don't want you any more.

You cast your mind back to how it was before
Man, you were happy then;
Had her for two years and ten (and now that she's departing)
It's a shame it had to end (you'll have to start all over again).

You remember how she used to rub your neck
And run her hands right through your hair.
Man, she was everywhere,
Indeed you made quite a pair.

But she built walls up around her, yes she did
And she turned herself to stone.
Said she'd prefer it on her own,
But that means leaving you alone.

So you look on
And there you stand
You've held your head
In your hands
For the longest time.

You're cold and wet as memories flood your mind
You're overwhelmed and you just sink.
Man, she was everything.
The happiness she used to bring.

You recall how she used to comfort you
Ironic now that when you need it,
There's no way you can receive it,
She's not here to relieve it.

Chorus.

I hate to be the one that has to break this news to you
But you'll get over it one day.
And here's what all the people say; (and though you love her madly)
You're better off without her anyway (you're gonna be so sad).

You have to face that there's been many bridges burned,
Far to many to rebuild.
And you hope she feels the guilt
Of deconstructing what took so long to build.

Chorus.
Track Name: That Mamma
You make me sick, make me sick,
Yeah you're so...
So asleep, so asleep
And it shows.

You got tangled in her
And all that you can do is get upset about it.
You changed the clothes that you wear,
Let me tell you, you should just forget about it.

She will get inside your head
And your mind, your mind may fail,
So don't let her in.

It's only you, only you
Can let go
So waken up, waken up
Don't be so...

You don't come out no more,
I asked you and you told me not to talk about it.
Can't you see whats in store?
Do you really want your friends to just forget about you?

She will get inside your head
And your mind, your mind may fail,
So don't let her in.

That Mamma's got a hold on you
And she's gonna break your back.
All summer you been workin' hard,
She won't cut you any slack.
Told you, told you, told you you're gonna lose your mind,
Unless you get away.
That mammas got you under her thumb she won't
Let you out to play.
Track Name: Mysterious Ways
Met her in a bar one evening
Caught her eye as she was leaving,
My state was I couldn't stand
She wrote her number on my hand.

Then by a twist of fate
She called me up the following day
And all that I could do was mumble.
How the hell'd she get my number?

I dunno which route to take
Barely know the girl for heaven's sake.
All's I know is that in any case
She works in mysterious ways.

Now take this for instance
An example of her weirdness;
We went out to get some food
She disappeared half way through.

Saw her out later on
She grew shifty her face grew long.
But when the end did come
She asked me would I walk her home.

We walked about the town,
I was anticipating her turning me down.
All's I know is that in any case
She works in mysterious ways.

She asked me back to hers for a drink
And all I could do was tremble.
Yes she made me tremble.
Oh yes, she made me tremble.

Back to hers, got more drunk,
Smoked a fag, smoked some skunk.
We made out and had a laugh
Then she said "Honey I'm not that kind of girl, you better sleep in the bath"

Oh, she turned me upside down
So's my smile became a frown.
All's I know is that in any case
She works in mysterious ways.
Track Name: Jack The Lad
Well, you think she'd be your saviour
With her laudable behaviour
Tried to tame the beast
She's warned away from.
But you got a reputation
For female manipulation
Some girls do
Whatever you want.

But this one
Says
You can do anything
But what you desire.
So when you felt you lost all hope
Well, you went in for a grope
And she slapped you in the face and quickly
Changed her tune.

And she said;

"Home Jack, I wanna go home Jack,
Wanna go home, Jack,
Take me back home."

Well, you think you got good taste,
Think you're the finest of our race,
Got news for you Jacky-boy,
And this is a fact.
You got a false self perception
Down to parental neglection;
Showed no interest in you
Unless you were the best.

So you built up this delusion
That you were the mind and body fusion
Of all the best people
This world has ever known.
Well I hate to burst your bubble
But you've run into some trouble
Now the only fool you're fooling
Is the one that's fooling you.

So go home Jack,
Why don't you go home Jack?
Time to run home Jack,
Why don't you go home?
Track Name: Senectitude Becomes Her
Your first impression's that she's over the hill
She'll tell you that she's still attractively built, uhuh.
See how the flowers all
Stand to attention as she's sweeping the yard.
Routinely reverent to the passage of time
But there are times when she has drunken too much wine
(And she will cry her heart out)

Oh Missus Jones
You like to tell us how you used to be a real looker once,
Missus Jones
Heaven knows we've heard all this before,
Missus jones.
Providence has kept you from achieving your potential worth,
Missus Jones,
Heaven knows now we've all heard it.

Her husband's money always went to good use
Spent it on remedies designed to hold onto youth.
See how the towels all used to
Unfold themselves as she was taking a bath
Looks in the mirror as she's dying her hair
The skin she used to love now lies in disrepair
(Oh life's just so unfair!)

Chorus.

Pretty soon our youth will fade and our skin will start to sag
Our minds will disipate, we'll all be coots and hags
And we will envy those who are still so young and fair
As we sit powerless to halt our greying hair.
One thing I learned from Missus Jones is life's only certainty
That we will all grow old, grow old disgracefully.
Track Name: This Is How We Play
Honey, now won't you bring me home and put me to bed?
We've been to this party a thousand times.
Filling the teacups up with cheap and nasty wine,
Closing the curtains to avoid the sun's shine.

We think we're hedonistic baby, but we're not,
High-living lowlifes is what we are.
We could have gone home, man,
You know the clubs closed at three,
Instead my leg's twitching, now I'll never get to sleep.

Oh, here's to one more...

And though we ought to know, yeah.
Our weeks all end this way, yeah.
And though we've said before, yeah.
Like restless children this is how we play.

Come on, let's stay for an hour more
Cos getting home's gonna be such a slog...

When I was eight years old I wished that I was ten.
When I was ten I wished that I was twelve.
My Mamma she told me, "Boy enjoy it now while you are young."
That line never sold me, being older had to be more fun...

Well, I was never one to take good advice...

And though we ought to know, yeah.
Our weeks all end this way, yeah.
And though we've said before, yeah.
Like restless children this is how we play.
Track Name: Edwina
Kids of only seventeen and we could hardly tell apart
The bourgeois and the bohemians that milled about the boulevards.
The laughter tumbling out of every window and hanging round the cobbles to dance,
We saw a poster on the door of a bar which read "Le Quintet du Hotclub de France"

We'd stay friends for so many years

Her and I,
Who's that gypsy playing sweet guitar?
Man beside him playing violin.
We were drinking whisky by the jar,
Still remember and it makes me cry.

We left the building with the sun coming up, back to the hotel for a quarter to five.
Stood in the lobby in our tip-tilted hats as the morning staff began to arrive.
The porter looked at us through his waxy eyes and politely asked us where we had been.
We nodded rummily, and tried to explain, but had no idea where we should begin.

Some things must be heard to be believed.

Her and I,
Who's that gypsy playing sweet guitar?
Man beside him playing violin.
We were drinking whisky by the jar,
Still remember and it makes me cry.

Take me back, take me back to where we were before.
Man, that boy he made the whole place swing,
Man beside him playing violin,
Crowd was dancing right out the door,
We were dancing 'til our feet were raw.
Still remember and it makes me cry.
Track Name: Home
We could go to London, yeah you know it's not that far
And we could watch the changing of the guard.
I really think we should, it would do less harm than good.
Better than going there on my own.

We could go to Amsterdam, you know it's not that far
And we could sit in a cafe for a couple of hours.
Now we could make it right beneath the cover of red light,
Better than going there on my own.

The lengths that I have gone to, yeah I've travelled so far
But still I find there's distance in your eyes.
No matter where I go, yeah your heart is my abode
Please don't leave me without a home.
Track Name: Smooth
She's not your friend.
She'll break you 'til the end
And take your cold, cold comforts and slowly turn them to ice.
Break your spirit down, pretend she's sugar and spice.

She says "Shut up your mouth. Take that smile off your face.
Now honey this ain't the time,
This ain't the time or the place"
Her golden rule is to guide your action
And the secret behind her success is her talent for abstraction.

She's so smooth you better be careful 'cos you can't tell
She'll bring your body to heaven but she'll send your mind to hell.
She's so smooth get up from where you fell
All her tricks get easier she knows you all too well.
She's so smooth but I don't like her way
There's something strange about her and it's in the things she says
Cos she's so smooth, yeah.

She's not your friend.
She's drain you 'til the end
And she'll revert to a trick that she learned years ago,
Same response when you let your feelings show;

She says "Shut up your mouth. Take that smile off your face.
Now honey this ain't the time,
Well this ain't the time or the place"
Her one sole aim is to make you look a fool,
So take heed of my advice and remember her golden rule cos

She's so smooth you better be careful 'cos you can't tell
She'll bring your body to heaven but she'll send your mind to hell.
She's so smooth get up from where you fell
All her tricks get easier she knows you all too well.
She's so smooth but I don't like her way
There's something strange about her and it's in the things she says
Cos she's so smooth, yeah.
Track Name: A Pressing Question
You asked me a question there,
Much to my torment.
And I've put off answering,
Only now will I relent.

You want to know about
All the loves of mine?
One time significances
Now time out of mind.

Well there's been other women
There's been quite a few.
But all of these other women
Were a rehearsal for you

And in my way I think
That I've loved them all.
But in the end I know
That I love you more

I know you love me baby
I know it's true, oh
There's no other baby
Has loved me quite like you, oh.

We've got each other baby, that's for sure.
We've got each other baby, who could want more?